I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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