the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
