i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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