I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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