literally had 100 drinks last night.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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