I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
