Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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