You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Randomize
