Screwed.edu
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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