Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
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i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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