I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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