Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize