Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize