dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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