Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
