yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
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yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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