Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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