So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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