No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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