Is it normal to miss your booty call?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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