Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize