You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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