I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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