You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize