Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I need moral support for this bender
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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