so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
