I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you would pick up someone in the library
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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