do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
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Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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