did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
