the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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