Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize