the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
