i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize