What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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