i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize