My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
soo... how was my night?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
