It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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