gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Drake has all the answers
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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