I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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