it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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