Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
