lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize