i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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