The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My ass is underappreciated
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize