Cold hands, warm shart.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
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I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
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So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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