I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
FUCK WHALES
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize