he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
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