scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
