i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize