Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny