I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.