Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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